Releasing Tension to Support Regulation:
How the Body Holds Stress
When the body braces, the nervous system often reads that as danger, effort, or threat. Softening unnecessary tension can help the body register a little more safety.
Stress does not only show up in thoughts and feelings. It often shows up in the body first: in the jaw, shoulders, hands, chest, belly, hips, and breath. When the body stays braced for too long, the nervous system can remain on alert. Learning to notice and soften unnecessary tension can help create a greater sense of steadiness and safety.
1. Jaw softening
Many people hold stress in the jaw without realising it.
-
Let the lips part slightly
-
Unclench the teeth
-
Rest the tongue softly in the mouth
-
Exhale with a quiet sigh
-
You are not forcing relaxation. You are simply reducing the effort your body no longer needs.
2. Shoulder drop on the out-breath
-
Breathe in naturally
-
As you breathe out, let the shoulders drop a fraction
-
Repeat several times without forcing them down
This works well because it pairs tension release with the exhale.
3. Hands uncurling
Stress often sits in the hands.
-
Notice whether your hands are gripping, curled, or held tight
-
Let the fingers lengthen slightly
-
Open and close the hands slowly once or twice
-
Then let them rest
4. Belly softening
A held belly can keep the whole system in effort.
-
Place a hand over the lower ribs or belly
-
On the out-breath, invite the area to soften
-
Do not push the breath down
-
Just let the front of the body stop “holding on” for a moment
5. Ground through the feet
Tension often rises when contact with the ground drops away.
-
Stand or sit with both feet connected to the floor
-
Gently press the feet down
-
Notice the support coming back up through the legs
-
Let the upper body do less
6. Tighten and release
This one is helpful because some people cannot “just relax.”
-
Gently tense the shoulders for 3 seconds
-
Release
-
Gently tense the hands for 3 seconds
-
Release
-
Gently tense the legs for 3 seconds
-
Release
This might help you feel the difference between holding and letting go.
7. Orient and soften
This is very trauma-informed because it combines body release with present-moment safety.
-
Look around the room
-
Find three ordinary, non-threatening things
-
As you look, notice whether the jaw, shoulders, or chest can soften slightly
That stops the exercise becoming too inward or too forced.
8. Shake out residual tension
This has a tai chi / somatic feel and is easy to teach.
-
Let the arms shake loosely
-
Soften the knees
-
Gently shake out the hands, shoulders, and legs
-
Then become still and notice what changed