Breathing Practices for Self Regulation

Ten Breathing Practices for Self-Regulation

A note before you begin

Breathing exercises are not about getting it right. They are not a test, and they are not meant to force calm. They are simply ways of helping you notice what is happening, support your nervous system, and gently restore a sense of steadiness.

If any exercise makes you feel worse, more panicky, lightheaded, numb, or overwhelmed, stop. Open your eyes, look around the room, feel your feet on the floor, and return to ordinary breathing. It is often better to do less, more gently.

1. Arriving Breath

This practice helps you come back into the present moment without demanding that you relax.

How to do it
Sit or stand in a way that feels supported. Let your eyes stay open if that feels safer. Notice three things you can see around you. Feel where your body is being held by the chair, the floor, or the ground.

Now simply notice your breathing as it already is. No need to change it.

After a few moments, gently say to yourself:

I am here.
This is now.
I can notice one breath at a time.

Stay with this for 30 seconds to 2 minutes.

Why it can help
In Gestalt terms, this supports contact with the present moment. It helps separate what is happening now from what the body may still be expecting from the past.

2. Longer Out-Breath Breathing

This is one of the simplest ways to support regulation. A slightly longer exhale can help the body shift out of alarm.

How to do it
Breathe in gently through the nose if comfortable. Then breathe out slowly through the mouth or nose, whichever feels easier.

Try:

breathe in for 3
breathe out for 4 or 5

Do not force a deep breath. Keep it light and easy.

Repeat for 6 to 10 rounds.

Important
If counting makes you tense, drop the numbers and just let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath.

Why it can help
Lengthening the exhale often helps reduce activation without pushing the system too hard.

3. Hand-to-Body Breath

This practice adds gentle contact to breathing. It can support people who need a little more grounding and reassurance.

How to do it
Place one hand on your upper chest and one on your lower ribs or belly. There is no correct placement. Choose what feels least intrusive.

Notice which hand moves more as you breathe. Do not try to correct it.

Then quietly invite the breath lower by imagining the breath widening the ribs or softening into the belly.

You might say:

Can I let the breath come a little lower?
Can I allow a little more space inside?

Stay for 1 to 3 minutes.

Why it can help
The hands provide orientation and support. Rather than controlling the breath, you are developing a relationship with it.

4. Ground and Grow Breath

This practice is influenced by tai chi and can be especially useful when you feel scattered, uncontained, or “up in your head.”

How to do it
Stand with your feet about hip width apart. Let your knees soften slightly. Feel the weight of your body dropping into your feet.

As you breathe in, notice the spine gently lengthening.
As you breathe out, feel your weight settling down through your legs and feet.

You do not need big movements. Just a quiet sense of:

inhale: lengthen
exhale: settle

You may find it helpful to imagine:

roots going down on the out-breath
space opening up on the in-breath

Continue for 1 to 3 minutes.

Why it can help
This combines breath with posture and gravity. It can support a felt sense of steadiness and containment.

5. Open-Side Rib Breathing

Many anxious people breathe high in the chest. This practice encourages a wider, less effortful breath.

How to do it
Wrap your arms loosely around your ribs, or place your hands on the sides of your ribcage.

As you breathe in, imagine the breath moving sideways into the ribs rather than only upwards.
As you breathe out, feel the ribs soften back in.

There is no need to make the breath big. Think of it as creating width rather than volume.

Try for 8 to 12 breaths.

Why it can help
This can reduce the sense of tightness or constriction that often comes with stress while avoiding the pressure of “deep breathing.”

6. Pendulum Breath

This is helpful when being fully inside the body feels too much. It uses a gentle movement between inner and outer awareness.

How to do it
Take one easy breath and notice the body. Then look around the room and notice something external: a colour, a shape, a sound, or light through a window.

Then come back to one breath.
Then back out to the room.
Then back to one breath.

Move gently between:

inner awareness
outer awareness

Continue for 1 to 3 minutes.

Why it can help
This is trauma-informed because it does not trap attention inside the body. It lets the nervous system move between contact with self and contact with the environment.

7. Wave Breathing

This practice is adapted from gentle yoga breathing, but kept very simple. It can help build continuity and flow.

How to do it
Sit comfortably. Imagine the breath as a wave.

As you breathe in, silently say:

rising

As you breathe out, silently say:

falling

Do not try to make the breath smooth. Just notice the natural wave-like quality, even if it is uneven.

If it helps, add a small arm movement:

arms open slightly on the inhale
arms soften back on the exhale

Practice for 1 to 2 minutes.

Why it can help
This can restore a sense of rhythm. When stress is high, rhythm is often more useful than intensity.

8. Gathering Breath

This practice is based loosely on tai chi and can help when you feel dispersed, fragmented, or emotionally “everywhere.”

How to do it
Sit or stand. As you breathe in, slowly bring your hands a little outward or upward, as though making space. As you breathe out, gently bring your hands back towards the centre of your chest or lower belly.

The movement can be tiny. Barely visible is fine.

You are pairing breath with the felt sense of:

inhale: space
exhale: gathering

Repeat for 6 to 12 breaths.

Why it can help
This can support a sense of returning to yourself without needing to think your way there.

9. Counting Contact Breath

This is useful for people who need a little structure.

How to do it
Let your breath stay natural. Count only the exhale.

For example:

inhale naturally
exhale: 1
inhale naturally
exhale: 2

Count up to 5, then begin again.

If you lose track, simply begin again at 1.

Why it can help
This gives the mind something gentle to do while keeping the focus anchored in the present.

10. Compassionate Sighing

Sometimes regulation begins not with discipline, but with permission.

How to do it
Breathe in gently through the nose. Then let the out-breath leave with a soft sigh through the mouth.

Do not push it. Think of releasing pressure rather than emptying the lungs.

After 3 to 5 sighing breaths, let the breath return to normal and notice:

has anything softened?
is there a little more space?
what is here now?

Why it can help
A sigh can discharge tension and interrupt holding patterns in the jaw, chest, and diaphragm.

Keep your eyes open if closing them feels uncomfortable.
It is fine to stop at any point.
Slower is usually better than deeper.
Regulation is not the same as total calm.
The aim is not to override what you feel, but to support yourself in staying with experience more safely.

These practices are not about perfect breathing. There are ways of helping you come back into contact with yourself, your body, and the present moment. Over time, gentle repetition can help build more steadiness, awareness, and choice.